Nurturing Talent
By Douglas S. Barasch
Parents are always trying to spot their children's special talents. Sometimes they have to search; sometimes they can't help but notice. Emily Takahashi of Boulder, CO, says almost from birth, her youngest daughter, Daphne, seemed physically graceful. "She moves in a way that attracts your eye - there's so much balance and beauty to it," Takahashi says of her daughter, who is 5 years old. "I've always thought that she would be an incredible dancer."
Children can show promise in many different areas: music, athletics, art, math, chess, writing. But talent can also appear in ways that are not as commonly valued: social relationships, mechanical ability, a passion for the care of animals or plants or nature. "Talent is any kind of strength a person has that sets him or her apart," says Robert J. Sternberg, Ph.D., professor of psychology and education at Yale University.
When the term "talent" is narrowly applied, it includes only 3 to 5 percent of children whose exceptional gifts or intelligence can be easily recognized or tested. But what of the other 95 percent of children who don't fit in this category? "You could argue on solid ground that every single child is gifted or talented," says David Feldman, Ph.D., professor of child development at Tufts University and author of Nature's Gambit: Child Prodigies and the Development of Human Potential (Teachers College Press).

AGES 5 to 7
A CHANCE TO SHINE
Different talents emerge at different ages. At age 5, your child will probably not show signs of mathematical ability, cunning at chess, dominance on the baseball diamond, or a consuming passion for the violin. And even early signs of talent may not predict the future.
But these are the years to introduce children to a rich array of possibilities and opportunities. "The most important thing is that children have a chance to enjoy finding out what they're capable of doing," says Ann Masten, Ph.D., director of the Institute of Child Development at the University of Minnesota. A neighborhood piano teacher or a gym coach at the local Y could have a lasting impact on your child.

AGES 7 TO 9
THE WORK BEGINS
Future Nobel Prize-winning scientists, mathematicians, and NBA power forwards may not yet display their prodigious talents at these ages. But some children do demonstrate a particular gift, although it is still hard to judge how far that talent will ultimately take them, or whether it will be their final vocation.
By age 9, children who are extraordinarily talented may need, even desire, more advanced instruction from teachers and coaches who know how to cultivate their talents at a higher level. Other children may simply need to develop their talents in a more structured way. Discipline (as when practicing an instrument) can become a source of discomfort, even conflict, for both a child and her parents. "Sometimes you're going to have to make your children practice even when they don't want to," says Andrew Slater, middle-school coordinator at the Bank Street School for Children in New York City. "But if that happens week after week, then you have to figure that something unhealthy is happening. You have to ask: Is nurturing that gift more important than her emotional happiness?"

AGES 9 TO 12
SELF-MOTIVATION
Children who are dedicated to developing their talents at these ages must rely more on themselves for the motivation to achieve their goals."Your ambitions get awfully high, but you've used up that easy reservoir of talent. Getting better is harder; each increment is more difficult, and it's more competitive," says Nancy Robinson, Ph.D., director of the Halbert Robinson Center for the Study of Capable Youth at the University of Washington. Children are more sensitive to what others think of them and they judge themselves accordingly. "It's easier for them to get discouraged," says Slater.
In other cases, children's dedication may simply wane, perhaps because other interests (like socializing) become more compelling. "There are some children who will go all out in some area and then stop, and it's over. And there are other children who will go all out and stop, but it's not over; they just need to pause," says Feldman.
If parents must still push hard to get their child to practice, then she may not be truly suited to that activity. The child who's not going to be an Olympic star or a chess master should not ignore her other skills and needs. She may want to pursue her interests in the company of peers - play with a youth symphony or sing in a chorus.
"Parents who invest in developing their children's talent needn't always think about them becoming preeminent or even continuing that activity throughout their lives," says Robinson, an expert on gifted children. Above all, she adds, "Joy is tremendously important - joy in their own accomplishments, joy in the simple activity, whether or not they're the best at it."

ARE YOU BRINGING OUT YOUR CHILD'S BEST?
Here are some of the questions to ask yourself as you cultivate your child's gifts.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS TALENTED?
It's hard to know for sure. Even if such a thing could be definitively measured, it takes much more than native talent to achieve real success in any field. Also required are discipline, perseverance, and the right opportunities.
"Get advice from people for whom there is no vested interest in the outcome," suggests David Feldman, Ph.D., professor of child development at Tufts University.
WHEN WILL YOU KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS TALENTED?
Different talents emerge at different times. Chess talent may be apparent at age 6, math prodigies may not show themselves until age 11 or 12, and athletes not until age 12 (or later). Children who are musically adept will usually exhibit their talents by age 9 or 10 at the latest. But remember, talent is not a fixed entity or quantity:
A child may have great musical talent but never become a great musician, perhaps because of the lack of opportunity, encouragement, or instruction, or she may stumble as the result of too much pressure or self-doubt.
HOW DO YOU CULTIVATE A CHILD'S TALENT?
Studies indicate that successful children are generally, though not always, the product of nurturing, supportive families who offer their children the tools - motivation, information, instruction, confidence, and discipline - to develop their gifts.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE PUSHING YOUR CHILD TOO HARD - OR NOT HARD ENOUGH?
"Too much pushing, and you destroy the talent; too little, and children don't get started," says Robert J. Sternberg, professor of psychology and education at Yale University. "You have to find a middle ground: giving a little nudge every now and then to help maintain a child's interest, but not being a nag." Providing inspiration helps, whether it's going to museums, concerts, or sports competitions. But, warns Ann Masten, director of the Institute for Child Development at the University of Minnesota, "If a child perceives that his value in the eyes of his parents is tied up in his performance, if every time he goes out on the field or on stage he feels he risks his parents' love and affection, that's a sign of trouble."
IS YOUR CHILD UNTALENTED?
"Reaching the conclusion that your child has no talents in anything is probably untrue," says Feldman. Sometimes parents are simply looking for the wrong thing - especially if they are accomplished in one area and their child's strengths lie elsewhere.